" NEVER ALLOW YOUR GIFT TO ELEVATE YOU BEYOND A PLATFORM THAT YOUR CHARACTER CAN NEVER SUSTAIN YOU ON! " -Doris Mazone

Jonathan was the first baby boy born to my parents. July 16, 1978, was the date that Jonathan made his grand entrance into the world. Although his life was short lived and yanked abruptly from our care in January of 88, his memories will forever live within my HEART.

I can still recall my loving brother directing countless number of hours towards his favorite drawings on paper (Eighteen-wheelers). They would become the bonafide admiration of his precious affection. I can visualize, just as though it were yesterday, Jonathan frantically running through the woods along the country side trying to make it to the edge of the road. He ran with swift speed creating clouds of dust around his feet as he sprung forward towards the street.

Trying to reach the edge of the road, before the tractor-trailers passed our home, was one of the greatest challenges that Jonathan ENJOYED mastering. It indeed brought him profound joy and philosophical peace. Once at the edge, he would immediately extend his arms upward bringing them both back down. A non-verbal signal that communicated to the large tankers to HONK their thunder clapping high-pitched horns, which quickly intensified the atmosphere! And, he also adored

Optimus prime from Transformers.

At the time of Jonathan's death, I was trembling with fear and helplessness throughout my core. I felt like my life was disintegrating into a tunnel of hopelessness. Jonathan's death would create a spiritual cage around my life that confined my emotions for years. Seconds after the house flames had taken his life, my being exploded from the guilt that had hijacked my soul. I kept ransacking my own brain telling it that I was to blame for his death simply because I was unable to rescue him.